This one is going to be kinda random, because, as with most things, I haven’t really thought out what I want to say. It tends to get me a little trouble.
But something that really irked me today was the reiteration that things are supposed to be ‘right’ or ‘perfect’ all the time. This person still can’t fully grasp the idea that things rarely go perfectly as planned. As the world becomes more complex, and as we add more and more knowledge, information,experience and innovation into society, it will continue to grow in complexity. The more complexity, the more opportunity to solve problems.
At least that is the way I see it. I’ve learned from experience that putting unrealistic expectations on yourself, others or on life in general will generate anxiety and disappointment. Anger and blame can soon follow.
Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have high expectations. We should. We should always be willing to do a little more, and a little better as we move through life. Tony Robbins said “Your job is not to be perfect, but to be excellent”. Wise words. Excellence can build self esteem, and is obtainable. Perfectionism, in its extreme form, kills self-esteem. It defeats self-worth instead of enchancing it. It is unobtainable and therefore, only good for one thing. Producing frustration and anxiety.
Let me illustrate with a personal experience: A few years ago, I was receiving an employee review from a boss. As I sat there, expecting to hear a mostly good review, I was disappointed to hear feedback such as “well, you do your job, I can’t say that you are excellent, because noone is really excellent at a job. I mean, you do your job or you don’t. You either do it right or wrong. So, you do your job. The only thing I can say is keep your workspace more organized and make less mistakes. Other than that, you do your job.” There was very little said about my work performance, but a mountain about him and his perspective on me as an employee. I came to the realization that he wasn’t concerned about my work performance in a realistic way. I was either perfect, or I was not. I was just another machine in the office that, if it was not making mistakes, it was functioning. If it made a mistake, it was broken. As time went on, I realized that I would never be a good employee. I’d always just be doing my job, no matter how hard I tried to please the employer, and show them that I was dedicated to it’s success, that I could solve its problems.
I felt completely disempowered by this expectation by my employer. Either you were perfect, or you were broken. So, I have never tried to make a difference since. I do what I’m told, maintain the status quo and try not to make mistakes. I take no risks in trying to improve my department, I simply do what I can to “just do my job”.
Here is an interesting thought as well… In the pursuit of perfection, I have actually have tried to do less work during the day, simply because the more I do, the more potential to make a mistake. I measure my work day in mistakes, and how many times I’ve been insulted for being imperfect. Instead of leaving the work day evaluating it by how productive and effective I’ve been, I evaluate it by how little mistakes I’ve produced. To make no mistakes in my job is to do nothing.
The pursuit of perfection is a nobel one, but one that is unobtainable. Knowing that, I have released myself from that expectation. I’ve decided that it’s time to once again pursue excellence through effort, hard work, trial and error. I”m heading back to school to get a degree in something that I’ve held a deep interest in for years, and it feels pretty good. I’m optimistic again, I’m hopeful again. I feel like me again. I am genuinely looking forward to succeeding at something despite my imperfection. That dichotomous view of either I’m perfect or useless is dwindling again.
My workplace no longer means a whole lot to me, which is shouldn’t. Not under this expectation where everything is supposed to be easy, problem free and perfect. Anything less than that is failure, and I don’t buy it.
