Maturity

I had a rant waiting about sales people using me as a doormat and trying to ‘keep me in line’ but I just talked to the sales person on the phone as I started to type this and felt sad. We talked just business, but my sadness came from knowing that I was about to unload a bunch of sarcasm and negativity and here he was talking to me and had no idea. No way to defend himself against what I would write.

I’ve done it before, with great results. Many people were amused by my tirade. I was soothed by approval, and felt validated.

This time, I just felt sorry and ashamed. So I won’t take the action I was going to and instead, admit my own shortcomings with hopes to not be a victim of my own ego.

I know nothing will change between sales people and I. I will always have a distaste for their kind. I will always take offense at the way they try to micro-manage my workflow and strip me of my individual value by trivializing the importance of my role here in the shop. 

The taste of self-restraint can be sweet though, and the quiet victory over myself brings a nice sense of maturity.

UGh, I can’t believe I just said ‘maturity’. Gross. The very word maturity leaves the taste in my mouth bitter. ugh… forgive me Argus for I have sinned.